Mental Health

This is me.

Yep, this is me, Jen.

Hi, Brain! How are you today?

I'm fine.

"Fine" is code for "I want to talk." So tell me: what's going on?

I feel like I failed today because I didn't get anything done.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I can understand why that's hard. Tell me what you did today.

I got stuck taking my kids to all their activities, was constantly picking up after them and making them food, so I didn't finish the laundry I've been trying to do all week.

Gotcha. It's tough when you get pulled in so many directions, and more so when you have a truckload of laundry to do. However, when you have children, getting them to their activities, making their meals, and keeping the house clean are never-ending tasks. If you got those things done today, that means you did do a lot of work, even if you didn't finish the laundry.

Actually, you're right. I guess I did get a lot done today. I just didn't finish the thing I wanted to get done.

Do you ever feel like you're having conversations like this with yourself? While our conversations may not sound exactly like the dialogue above, frequent check-ins with our brains are essential. They help us gauge where our brains are at and what they need.

Hi, I'm Jen. I am a worrier, I deal with anxiety and sometimes with depression. This site is all about my own experiences with mental health challenges. I share my stories with hopes that they may help someone else out there who is struggling so they know they are not alone. Although your stories may differ from mine and your challenges may be quite a bit more severe, my hope is that my stories can spark helpful thoughts and ideas in your brains to guide you to the help you need.

I have been familiar with mental health challenges all my life, starting with family members and friends who dealt with challenges from moderate to severe. Because of my early exposure to these challenges, when I was younger I told myself: "I am never going to be depressed or anxious. I am always going to be positive and optimistic. Life is going to be great as long as I am obedient to God." I thought my life would be simple and easy.

My life expectations were so far off from reality. Never in a million years did I think I would face what I have faced. As things changed, I asked myself: "Where did I go wrong?"

I first noticed that I had real mental health challenges during my third pregnancy in late 2013. I experienced a complication that caused me to bleed regularly. Every time it happened I freaked out. The doctors told me it was fine. They said it would slow down and eventually stop. It didn't. One night the bleeding turned into severe hemorrhaging. I think the severity caught the ER doctor off guard so much that he almost didn't save me, let alone the baby. I did survive. Baby Ephraim did not. Although my depression and anxiety did not start with that series of events, that is when I finally recognized that I had a problem.

Although I recognized it, it still took me several years to admit that I needed professional help. Finding the right professional help has made all the difference. That doesn't mean my challenges are gone. There is no cure. I have up days when I feel good about myself and about life. I also have down days when I struggle with my own self-worth and think poorly about my life. I have worked hard to accept the ups and downs as a normal part of life. When I'm having a down moment (or maybe a whole day), the hard work has become to help myself recognize this truth: that most days and moments are not down for me.

The stories I want to share are about my own challenges. I'll share my own fears, anxieties, pains, struggles, and more. I'll share how I've tried to manage these challenges. Sometimes I felt like I succeeded: sometimes I felt like I failed. I'm learning that success comes from trying. Just because the outcome isn't what I expect doesn't mean I've failed. I always learn from just trying.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Learning how to manage my challenges has made me stronger. Let's get stronger together.

Be honest with yourself.

Learn from the truth.

Success comes from each attempt to manage your challenges.

Follow along with me as I discuss how I've tried to manage my mental health as it relates to relationships, finances, motherhood, religion, and more.

Joy is possible.

Love ❤️, Jen

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