Boundaries
A few weeks ago I wrote about scenarios that present the chance to make intentional choices. As a kind of follow-up, I wanted to talk about boundaries.
All of the scenarios I listed related to my relationship with other people. And more often than not, I struggle with a sense of who I am in relation to other people. Sometimes it's because of my own lack of self-worth. Other times I feel that others impose themselves on me.
In her course on strengthening relationships (again, this is not a paid endorsement, just an honest recommendation), Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife discussed the concept of 2 types of boundaries in interpersonal relationships: protective boundaries and containing boundaries.
According to Dr. Finlayson-Fife, protective boundaries protect you from harmful external influences. You create protective boundaries by gaining a strong sense of self-worth. Knowing who you are regardless of what other people say about you can be a powerful tool against harmful actions towards you.
On the flip-side, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains that containing boundaries protect others from your harmful influences towards them. You create containing boundaries by honestly recognizing the destructive power that your own actions can have on others and preventing yourself from wielding that power on others.
If you want some additional context, here is a Q&A podcast Dr. Finlayson-Fife put out discussing some of these concepts. Although she talks about these concepts primarily within a marriage relationship in the podcast, the concepts apply to all relationships.
Since the concept of these boundaries is fairly new to me, I'm still working on understanding and learning how to build them. I'd love to hear what you think. Do these boundaries make sense to you? Do you recognize these or similar boundaries? If so, how do you build these boundaries in your own life?
I would really appreciate your advice, perspective, and opinions on the topic. Please comment in new comments section below.
Joy is possible.
Love ❤️, Jen
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