A Little Brighter

So last week I shared a little bit about what I've been struggling with: fear. I wrote that I have let fear control my actions. I also said that my goal was to not let my fears have power over me. I wanted to share a little of how it went.

I learned a few more things during the week. I learned that I doubt myself and my abilities very quickly. So when situations come up that require me to be competent or trust in myself to make decisions, my fear easily takes control, I become irritated and bugged at myself that I am not strong or confident enough in the moment.

This last week when those feelings came, up I really tried to allowed myself to feel those feelings and acknowledged them for what they were without judging myself or the feelings. I validated them. I told myself that I understood what I was feeling. I let those feelings settle, talked myself up, and found courage to face what I needed to. I regained control over my fears. Even though the fear was still there, it wasn't as strong and I was able to freely choose to do what I needed to do.

As the week progressed and I kept trying to do this, I noticed my attitude and demeanor change. I was happier and more optimistic. Even if I didn't get what I wanted or the way I wanted it, I was able to accept whatever came my way with a positive attitude.

I also found myself praying more frequently to have strength and patience. I found myself trying to allow myself time rather than rushing through things. Don't get me wrong; I didn't do it every time. I still had hard moments when I didn't handle things well, but I gave it my best effort and have a little more glimmer of hope and optimism than before.

Something I accepted this week: this goal of refusing to let my fears control me is going to be a life long journey, but I feel more able and willing to face it.

How did your week go? Did you think about whether you act out of fear or not?

Joy is possible.

Love ❤️, Jen

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